FW: Moral Of The Story: MBA (Mentally Below Average) Management Lessons

LESSON 1 A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.  They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each"  So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff... And he was gone.  Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff¡-. And he was also gone.  The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.35pm."  MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST"        LESSON 2  Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand, "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"  "Certainly," said the young executive.  He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.  "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy."  MORAL OF THE STORY : "NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING"      LESSON 3  An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA When the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean."  The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"Again, the! Japanese was confused over the question.  The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you ... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese! Etc......??? "  The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am Japanese."  A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of 'key' was he.  The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee' am I?!"  The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"  MORAL OF THE STORY : "NEVER INSULT ANYONE"      LESSON 4  There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie  appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a  wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, and then your wish will come true."  The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted, "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.  Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.  The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool.  The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, SHIT....,  MORAL OF THE STORY : "THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN"      LESSON 5  The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:  Brain....... .. I should be in charge because I run all body functions.  Blood....... . I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.  Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.  Legs........ . I should be in charge because I take the brain where it wants to go.  Eyes........ . I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going.  Asshole..... I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.  All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad.  To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and Stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.  Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief  Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly  Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable  Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred  Day 5 ! - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body  Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge.  MORAL OF THE STORY: "NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE".

 

SPAM and Virus prevention by Barracuda Network Solutions   ­­  

Helen Fisher tells us why we love + cheat

source

Kelsey

My boyfriends empty promises are hurting me what
should i do?

my boyfriend always promises he'll get me stuff or do stuff for me, but he never does and never falls through unless i tell him to. i told him my favorite song and he said he would learn it on
his guitar for me, a week later he forgot about that and now we dont talk about it. he also said he would give me flowers every week and hes only given me flowers once when i reminded him
about his little promise while we were by a florist. hes promised me so much, and its not that i want anything or expect anything, but these empty promises really get to me after a while and its starting to hurt because it feels like he doesnt care about me. what should i do?

Adam D

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

Sounds like he doesn't really care about you and is taking you for granted. You're right he's not obligated to buy you things but if he promises something then he should keep with it if he's
any kind of decent human being.

Dump his sorry ***! He will either freak out and start living up to his promises, or move on and you will be better off.

• Berny
  
  then first you should have a deep meaningful talk with him. then if it doesn't help, then just dump him but talk to him first if you haven't.
  
  
  
  


• Patrick D
  
  
  

  u do want and expect something otherwise u wouldnt let something like this bother u..stop being so materialistic..and stop thinking about it too much...

  
  

  
  
• lionel
  
  
  

  he seriously dont care about you . girl you deserve alot better then this , this is what you should do just go to him and talk about it straight forward , if he understands good if he dont then you should move on . im open tho lol jk . good luck :)

  
  

  
  
• Meaty B
  
  

  Tell him how you feel. have you slept with him? don't or of you have stop till you feel more confident in the relationship.
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
• Yvette Anna
  
  
  

  Tell Him If He Can't Keep A Promise,Dont Make Any Promises He Can't Keep!
  Because Promises Hurt! Even The Most Little Promises Hurt. Just Have A Talk With Him.

  
  

  
  
  
  
• CeCe
  
  
  

  Plain & Simple - How do you being in a relationship with someone who isn't consistent & lies to you to pacify you. A person who can't keep their word is a liar by all means. If he can't give you his honest word then what type of foundation can he provide? It's a question only
  you can answer. Cut it short before the cuts are deeper than healing can heal.

  
  

Why is there [GROUP] beside the the file name of an excel file?

This is because of you have selected multiple worksheet in your excel file. To revert, just right click on the selected worksheet to UNGROUP it

SPAM and Virus prevention by Barracuda Network Solutions   ­­  

How to remove form components from microsoft words/ microsoft excel

Steps: -

Add Control Toolbox

Activate the Design Mode

Click on the form component you wish to edit

And that’s it

 

 

SPAM and Virus prevention by Barracuda Network Solutions   ­­  

Char(10) , ascii for CRLF, Carriage Return, Wrap text in Microsoft Excel 2003

Char(10) means carriage return in Microsoft Excel 2003.

It can be used together with Concatenate function in Excel “&”.  & function is to add text/number together to form a string.

By adding Char(10) in formula, the text will be split.  You have to change the cell format to WRAP text to view the result correctly.

SPAM and Virus prevention by Barracuda Network Solutions   ­­  

FW: Group Columns or Row in Excel for better view

 

At first I thought this Group feature by Microsoft Excel 2003 is relating to Subtotals command as both has similar interface.

 

This is useful if you have many columns/rows and when you need to frequently hide certain consequent columns/rows.  Group feature under Menu Bar of Microsoft Excel 2003 will allow you do to this with few clicks.

SPAM and Virus prevention by Barracuda Network Solutions   ­­