Negativity

I am not fine.  I am feeling worst now.  I am unsatisfied with what I have and I want to have better life.  I am feeling the suffering as days passed.  I know what i have not done.  I know that these are all part of the test and karma that is already planned by Almighty for me.  Someone that I trying to let go but I can't for now.  Someone that I hate to be part of but there's no way getting out. Somewhere far that I wish to go to but there's always obstacles and lack of supports.  I am really hunger for opportunity.  I hope it can come to me faster as I am getting very tired and lost at same time.  Is the depression coming to me again now? I can't imagine why certain people doing certain thing that are completely not acceptable.  Why do I need to get out from one hazardous place and then jumping into another trap.  All I need is simple life and security.  I know that this must be part of the test.  How did I do? Did I pass it , excel it? I hope brighter future for me ... i hope there's before my last breathe.